Thursday, May 25, 2006
10:11 PM
my rants on my lj, edited to be posted publicly:
Today is a bit depressing, high and low? Hmm. Anyway. (Let me post this as grammatically as I can.)
Philosophy:
Was sad. It was our last lesson. We finished going through the Logic Test and we did a feedback form. In the middle of it all Audrey took out her yellow plastic knife and started sawing at my thigh. She says "a team that eats together stays together" -- her senior/s gave each person in her CCA a fork, spoon or knife to "eat the food". Interesting? Maybe Janice and I should do it for our juniors. And Mel and Grace were commenting on how intelligent I was that I am annoying. I want to be more intelligent! Then I can annoy more people. Lisa reckons I am very interesting. Hmm. She didn't exactly say why.
SS:
Was terrific. We had a debate on "Democracy is the key to social progress and ecomonic prosperity" or something along that line. *sensitive stuff* Haha. The debate was stupid. But miraculously we treated it seriously. Maybe we were too tired of ********'s nagging and decided not to bother irritating her anymore. Funny? Ha ha ha
Geography:
Mrs Newby is leaving RGS. Michelle told us, and we heard it from the horse's mouth today. We are all very very afraid that ******** would take over Mrs Newby. We tried asking Mrs Newby if she knew who was going to replace her and she told us with a very straight face: "Oh, I don't know." Grace tried to make her stay. Apparently Mrs Newby has to return to the UK for "certain responsibilities". Maybe her child is getting married. Ha ha ha.
GPA:
My GPA IS screwed, contrary to popular belief. I am scoring around the 3.1 range overall. If my Math PT pulls me up by as little as 1%, I can scrape a 4.0. And if I miraculously manage to get above 39 for my chemistry, I can scrape another 4.0. My history, because of the failed SA2, is currently 57%. It doesn't look like it will improve at year-end. These marks are my calculations, so they may be vastly inaccurate, which I doubt so, considering my intelligence. Well, this is contradictory. I am just trying to act humble.
Personal beliefs:
I am disappointed in myself.
Am I too harsh? Am I too lenient? Perhaps I am too harsh on myself morally, but not harsh enough academics wise. Just take a look at my GPA and you can tell.
Am I putting too much value in friendship? Am I not understanding enough about human nature? I see the bonds forming in 311.
Are they superficial? Are they deeply rooted enough? Time will tell. I might have thought I felt at home in 202. Apparently, it is not the case. It is only after separation that we realise which are the superficial bonds and which are the deep, multi-layered ones. For example, my bond with the 202-ers is quite superficial, with some exceptions like Xuan Ni, Qianqian and even Macey. *sensitive stuff* What about She-Kaye? It's been ages since I saw her last. It's been ages since we talked on MSN, not like I talk to other people very often. Are we not trying our best to continue this relationship? Long-distance relationships ARE really hard to maintain.
Who would, ten years down the road, remember to invite the oh-so-intelligent Kweky to her wedding?
Who would call, SMS even, and wish, the oh-so-quiet Kweky "Happy Birthday" when she turns 21? (Seriously, I wouldn't do that.) I am so brutally honest it hurts to talk to me, doesn't it?
Who would ask the oh-so-brutally honest Kweky for sound advice when she gets into trouble? (I personally have not given any advice that is really sound. Yet.)
Once again, time will tell.
Time tells all.
I am a cynic, according to Cheryl Ng, seconded by Michelle. I am a cynic because I have a negative outlook on life (think "Life is sad"). However, if you think about it, life IS sad:
you are born;
you enjoy the first three years of your life being served by your mother;
then your brain becomes a sponge, soaking up the answers to "Why is the grass green?";
then you endure 15 or 16 years of torturous sitting in of lessons by the most wonderful people of all -- teachers, whom you would hardly remember the next year (in my case);
and then you get into the workforce and work your **** off from 9 in the morning to 5 in the evening, not counting overtime and work from home;
you get married and have kids;
you worry about your kid/s for twenty-odd years and then your retirement fund;
when you finally retire and let your brain rest, there comes the GRANDkids;
when finally the GRANDkids grow up, it is time to go and be with the Lord.
Who knows, *sensitive stuff*
Of course, this is a slippery slope. I can't actually know because I am only fourteen, and still in the "torturous sitting in" stage. I can't actually know. These are based on what I have read, heard or observed. Think what you may. I hope this sets you thinking. Perhaps you have thought of this already, I might be just articulating your thoughts. Of course, there are other things in life than these listed, for example, relationships (ie friendships. My own parents don't seem to have much of a life), music (not much chance, considering the busy lifestyles, and my very limited proficiency at instruments), and other things. But being a cynic, I only choose the negative side of life. Do I? For one, I despise children. They are stinkiy, irritating and pampered. I am sure I was not irritating when I was a kid. I definitely was well-behaved, quiet, and lovable child, albeit a little mysterious because I hardly said anything. I think.
*sensitive paragraph* Yes, that is good. I wonder what will happen two years down the road. Am I being cynical again? I can't believe it. Okay then.
Am I actually a very simple-minded person? A naive person too easily hurt? Am I just a simple girl trying to act sophisicated? I think I am you know.
*unreadable stuff* Are my expectations too high? Please tell me that my expectations are too high, considering my own abilities.
I am blogging very incoherently. There is a limit to how long I can stay in the sane state of mind without exaggerating the situation. This is especially evident in my philosophy journals.My smile is evil, according to Cheryl Ang, seconded by Michelle again. (or is it the other way round?) I think it started when Michelle said "Your smile is so scary, like you're hiding something in it." Cheryl adds: "Like you're planning something evil. But we all know you don't have evil intentions. *Smiles*" (think 笑裡藏刀) And if I don't smile, I just look stoned.
*private stuff*
School dynamics:
Just wanted to say this, after knowing the Head Prefect nominees.
1. Xin Er
2. Yan Han
3. Ying Yan
4. Grace Chan
5. Hannah (GEP)
In secondary one, we were all "Xin Er class chair!! Xin Er SL!". Secondary two: "Xin Er sure become PIT one lah." Secondary three: "Vote for Xin Er!! Vote for Xin Er!!"*very sensitive stuff* Hannah seems to have left a very good impression on Mel. I went "Is she nice?" *thumbs up* "Is she good?" *thumbs up* "Is she nice to everyone?" *thumbs up* Well, I'll wait for her speech.
enough ranting. bye dudesses.